How confidence fits into navigating transitions
“Transitions” and “adaptability” have been a theme in the last week. With it being Fall, it feels like a timely theme.
I have also contemplated about how confidence fits into how one copes with transitions. Let’s discuss!
When I say “transition,” I am referring to a changing situation or when a situation does not go as expected.
Transitions are inevitable.
Life is full of them! And they usually make us feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Your brain likes consistency and predictability. It likes having a plan, and when everything goes accordingly. It does not like change or the unknown. Like if a rouge wave were to hit your kayak on an otherwise calm day. Like you are going of course.
And it can be hard to navigate these moments without adequate coping skills. Coping skills are what help you be adaptable. They are what help you check-in with yourself and how you are feeling. They are what help you choose the next best, most aligned action, based on where you want to be and what your goals are. Your ability to adapt will help them feel less like mountains, and more like mole hills.
So, where does confidence fit into all of this?
I like to describe confidence as the belief you have in your self to be successful. Success can be defined in various ways. With that, as you navigate transitions, it is important to get clear on what ‘success’ means to you, personally. How you define success becomes your guiding star. It will inform what actions you take to get to where you want to be. But really, confidence gets to become back of the background operating system in your head. An operating system that truly believes you can be successful and accomplish what you set out to do, regardless of external circumstances. This may also include confidence to adapt and problem solve around this issue, trusting that changes will only benefit you in the long-run.
But when you are in a moment of doubt, fear, or panic during a transition, it can be hard to connect to the confidence and wisdom that lives in us. Your emotions take over, making it hard to think logically or rationally. Without thinking logically or rationally, it becomes hard to be adaptable.
When I work with athletes, I often find they are very good at trying to problem solve and shift how they are thinking. Which is great! But is only so effective in high-emotion moments. Often, athletes jump over how they are feeling. So, I offer an alternative approach:
#1 Notice that you are spiraling, anxious, or worried about how things will go.
#2 And name them. “This is fear, this is worry, this is doubt.” Notice how they feel in your body. Dark. Tense. Heavy. Busy.
#3 Connect to the confident and courageous energy that lives within you.
#4 Talk to that scared part of you with love. Trust the wisdom that comes from that confident and courageous part of you. Name how it feels. Light. Easy. Loose.
#5 Then choose how you will approach the change (aka. be adaptable)
Being able to connect to and relate to those scared parts of you during change takes courage. Because it is uncomfortable in our bodies. But sitting with that discomfort (without telling more stories) is how we actually process the emotion.
Then you can take aligned action!
Thanks for listening,
Karissa
