Sometimes it is just hard. And that does not mean you are inadequate or a failure.
I recently went hiking.
The elevation gain on this hike was next level. Wow. The right side of my lower body started to ache from the climb about 3 hours in.
This could have been a moment of intense suffering for me. My body’s capacity has changed greatly over the last 4 years. I sit so much as a graduate student, meaning I’m not as conditioned for physical challenges. I also caught a cold last winter that resulted in me having asthma that continues to get irritated (particularly by cold air). It can be frustrating to feel how my body responds to physical challenges compared to how my 20-25-year-old body would have.
With my body aching, I got curious about what was coming up. I adjusted how I was walking. And rather than being frustrated with my body aching and wheezing, I came to a moment of immense appreciation for what my body can do. Instead of comparing my current physical capacity to where I might have been 5 years ago, I was in awe of what my body was capable of today. I am how many meters up in elevation on a steep-ass hike. This is supposed to be hard. It is not hard because I’m “inadequate”. It’s just hard because it’s hard. And here I am, doing the thing. What’s not to celebrate?
What could have been a 7-hour hike turned into a 4-hour hike. Not because I was speedy. But, instead, because I got damp. If you know anything about outdoor adventures, you know that being wet in cold weather is a dangerous mix. When I got past the tree line and paused for a break, the chill set in. I was no longer protected from the wind. Toes. Fingers. Legs. I was chilled to the bone when I stopped moving. I contemplated continuing. But knowing I had 3 hours of hiking in the wind (which would only get colder as I got higher) if I did continue, I made the executive decision to turn around. I have been on challenging hikes before. The mental and physical challenge has never made me want to turn around. I guess the fear of losing a toe is my limit.
Again, what could have been a moment of feeling “not enough” for turning around, I accepted that it would be in my best interest. There would be other hikes to go on. Other summits to hit. My value does not lie in my ability to complete a full 15km “in-and-out” hike.
So many young athletes grip onto their athletic success as an indication of their worth. In moments when they feel like they do not measure up, may we remind them that they are valuable beyond their list of accolades.
