Wisdom from frolicking in the woods with women

Alright, stuck on the side of the road with hazards on, slowly turning my van into a sweat lodge (don’t come after me, it’s just a joke and I give so much gratitude and appreciation to elders who are actually leading them). It feels like a good opportunity to write, before I get back home and become distracted with the responsibilities and tasks of being an adult.

I tried to write a blog about why I was applying to offer sessions at women’s festivals this summer but, it felt disconnected, not heart-felt. Now, after spending time at the two festivals, I can offer something with a little more substance.

I know my mental performance practice has equipped me with tools, skills, and knowledge that all women (not just athletes) could benefit from. Offering sessions at women’s festivals provided another container and space to do that. In addition, I figured many women are also moms with kids (who may or may not play sports), making the festivals an opportunity to network and expand my reach/audience for my typical clientele. Finally, I also wanted to check out what women’s festivals in Western Canada had to offer. The thought of meeting other women who “got it” intrigued me. Otherwise, it was difficult for me to pinpoint where the pull or curiosity came from.

Now that I am through both festivals (and am off the phone with CAA… and have dried my eyes), I can share a little more about the lessons I’ve learned, and why I was called to show up in these spaces.

First, I applied for a handful of festivals across Saskatchewan, Alberta, and BC, and managed to get accepted into two. I offered a somatic session (basically, feeling what sensations are in the body), complete with finger painting to express love and compassion towards our bodies.

In BC, I had a lot of fear come up that what I had to offer wasn’t “good enough” because the other presenters were so freaking good! It has been a long time since I doubted my capacity to deliver a presentation until I was surrounded by a bunch of amazing women offering their magic. They were so soft and majestic and feminine, which is not how I present! The self-doubt was sticky. It sat like rocks in my stomach and knots in my throat. I had to remind myself that I am not here to offer a “zen” session. My energy is big and fiery when I present; that I get to bring zest, and that folks will take away what they need from what I have to offer.

In Saskatchewan, I was frazzled for the first couple of days I was there, getting overly annoyed with minor inconveniences, such as the way someone guided a meditation or when I was asked to stand in the sun to make a circle when I was comfy sitting in the shade. (Like, seriously reactive, which is unlike me unless I’m PMSing). I wasn’t sleeping. It was hot and windy, with little shade. I felt overstimulated with no way of escaping. As I connected with more and more women and settled into the festival, my body started to feel more grounded.

Okay, enough intro. Here is what you came for: I ended up having a few takeaways from these festivals that help me to understand the deeper, intuitive pull I had towards applying.

1. We need more opportunities to gather with big love and belonging

It’s difficult to be in love and belonging when our world is built on competition and comparison. I challenge you to get creative with how you can talk during your work meetings or team practices to transform them into spaces for connection, rather than pushing to be better than others in the room.

2. Life gets to be a ritual

You don’t need complex changes to bring some joy into your life. On your drive to work, feel the warmth of the sun. When you stir your morning coffee, contemplate what you want the day to bring you. When you shower in the evening, let the water carry your worries down the drain. Call it imagery or manifesting or intention setting. Use whatever language works for you. What matters is that you are bringing purpose to otherwise mundane moments.

3. Our bodies are wise and miraculous, and we need to start listening to its whispers

This one ties into some of the work I do. My Kinesiology background gives me an incredible appreciation for all that our bodies do for us – breathing, digesting, literally living through each day! We often take it for granted. With that, we also often ignore what our body is telling us because we have fought long and hard to get rid of challenges that we were also not able to run from. Ignoring what our bodies are saying is the next way we stay alive. So, I say this with understanding. But we need to practice listening to what our bodies are saying before the whispers become screams. Listen to that back ache before you cannot roll out of bed tomorrow. The neck twinge, the knee creak. These are all messages that we are holding onto some kind of painful emotion in our body. Sit with them as you can.

4. We do not need a certificate to validate skills we have learned through life

Years of therapy and personal development has provided me with just as many lessons that make me a skilled practitioner that school has. Much of what I offer, like guiding athletes through meditations, isn’t something I learned in school. It’s something I practiced for myself, and eventually started doing for others. (I vividly remember the first time I guided a meditation and it felt sooo clunky, like any new skill. And now I love doing it!). I have also done a lot of somatic work in therapy. I combine that with my arts and craft skills to guided therapeutic art sessions. I don’t have formal training in these either but I have so much live experience that I can teach them.

5. We all bring our own unique flair and magic to our craft

Just like signatures, we cannot compare ourselves to others. We’re often taught to measure our successes to someone else’s (see item 1 of living in a masculine, competitive, comparison-driven society). We’re taught that “enough” is based on some, abstract, immeasurable standard (aka. “perfection”). Comparison will happen. But instead of seeing why someone is better or worse, notice differences in a neutral way.

So, those are just a few of the high-level takeaways from spending a couple of weekends frolicking in the woods with women. There were plenty of other insights and whispers that I am doing good work, am on the right path, and that I am not alone on this journey. My heart and soul feel on fire!

I realize the intuitive pull to offer workshops at women’s retreats was to get into different spaces. Much of my work clashes with traditional sport culture (see my other posts about self-compassion). And it can be exhausting to feel the weight of shifting the culture in women’s sport to one where women feel like they can show up authentically. The difference between working with athletes and attending these festivals was that everyone was a sponge for my lessons, instead of questioning how it fit into their world. I realize part of the satisfaction that comes with people understanding your work is egotistical. We all like being recognized for the good work we do. But working with women who get it also provided a strong sense of connection and community. For instance, I got to hold and support women in difficult emotions. I also had other women share beautiful experiences about how energy flowed in their body. This felt sense of belonging is essential for our well-being as humans.

Peace,

Karissa